Taylorsville, UT – April 2011
So earlier tonight I was helping OG get from a chair to standing upright, so as to help him into the bathroom and go take a dookie. Normal Son comes in and proceeds to spew forth with several ‘helpful’ suggestions and highlights of the many ways I’m doin’ it wrong. Sadly, all of his helpful suggestions would have ended up with OG face planting or knocking me over and him falling on top of me. If you don’t know me you might be thinking some really crazy things about how I accepted the constructive criticism and altered my technique to fit what my employer thought was best.
If you are one of those people, I’ll need you to go ahead and bang your head on the wall until you can’t see anymore.
I promptly advised Normal Son that I knew what I was doing and that’s why he paid me so good and put up with all my madness and assorted hijinks. He looked a little confused, so I smiled really big and told him to be nice, or I’d ship him off to Best Gorea. Normal Son hadn’t figured out that I was messing with him, that Gorea isn’t a real country, and hasn’t had the unfortunate ‘pleasure’ of dealing with Gorean asshats.
Not knowing what he surely did not know, he looked somewhat shocked and apologized to me for “telling you how to do what you do day in and day out”. Thoughtfully (and likely under the mistaken belief that I’d just threatened an involuntary trip to the “Democratic” People’s Republic of Korea [North Korea]) Normal Son looked up and said “Best Gorea sounds like an awful place”.
I completely agree.
The rest of the story:
Google “Goreans”. They’re painfully annoying.
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